Written by Nyasher Browne
My first poetry book came about by accident, as I was actually trying to write my autobiography but instead these poems were coming up in my mind. It was as though my brain was trying to protect itself for all that was about to be brought up. But then strangely it took a funny turn as the poems then ended up being trauma related, so I called the book Traumoetry.
The first draft is handwritten so it took me some time to write up and I edited it as I went along. I also designed and drew the front cover and it’s with this book that I first learnt to self-publish. I was pleased with myself once I had finished and ordered myself a copy, but I was reluctant to share what I had done.
I was having a few personal issues but was getting support from my housing association by way of a housing support officer and she was the first person I shared my book with. She enjoyed reading it because of it’s honest and vulnerable nature, even though some parts of it were difficult to read. She also got good feedback from her co-workers.
With that and the confidence I had begun to gain from attending a self-compassionate emotional regulation group I took the step I needed to get it out there. I was still working as a teaching assistant so I was able to tell some co-workers about it and posted it on my social media.
The feedback I got I decided to write another book this time focusing more on the healing process and how it feels to do healing and how it is during and after the healing process. This book I called Compassionate Corner as it was a time that I was going through inner growth and learning to be compassionate towards myself after all I had been through.
With this book and the one after I enjoyed sharing parts of the healing process that I have never heard others talk about. Like the emptiness you feel once the inner work is done and not feeling weighed down by the negativity anymore. How that empty space can heighten your anxiety and make you more prone to panic attacks.
There is also the factor of how your whole life could have been filed with toxic people so cutting them off and starting again with socialising and learning to accept help once you have identified that there are genuine people around. Learning that there are those who help and those who don’t no matter who you are.
The best thing has been to see that it is possible to undo things that make you prone to self-sabotaging, the main one being that putting yourself first is not selfish and being confident is not being arrogant. Which seems obvious but this is how these situations make you feel.
Once you have done the work that needs doing on your inner self it can make it a bit easier to see some things from your parents’ perspective and understand that they have trauma too then you can find forgiveness for yourself and them. For me it’s important to say that forgiveness is not always about going to people and saying “I forgive you” for the person to be back in your life.
Forgiveness is about being able to let go so that you can move on. If you haven’t forgiven, then you are holding are grudge and this is time consuming and energy draining and the person who has been toxic towards you deserves none of them things.
Healing Is Powerful
I am proud of all of my books and the journeys I have been on with each of them I believe my most rewarding journey was the one during lockdown when I wrote my third poetry book called Healing is Powerful.
This book touches on compassion, trauma, healing, mental health, domestic violence and a range of other random topics like springtime and sunshine. So, it’s a real mix they also vary in length as some of them I was really able to able expand upon and push my talent by writing longer poems.
Battling Ill Health
My lockdown period started slightly earlier than others as I was signed off from work due to how severe my fibromyalgia had become. It was definitely a cause for concern with my new symptom mimicking a heart attack every time it flares up. This time away from other people really gave me a chance to go into myself and realise the power that I hold within myself and time to sit with it.
After feeling weak and worthless for the whole length of time you have been alive it really is something to know that you are the one was able to break the family pattern and do it without realising really is something.
Future Is Now
As we began to emerge from lockdown I had over 100 poems and an opportunity for a photo shoot. When I started this book, I decided to call it the Future Is Now, it was the photo shoot that gave me the inspiration to change the name.
When I stepped into the photographer’s studio, we had chat about my experiences and how I was feeling and where I was at that moment. Her vision was for me to be in all black and wearing no other make up than red lipstick. I stood in place whilst she snapped away coming up with the idea to pose with a pen in my hand with my arm up in the air which she would then add writing too.
My Book, And My Voice
That’s when I came up with Healing Is Powerful. And it truly is and that’s how my book got its new title and cover picture. This time I didn’t hesitate to share my talent and have had many radio interviews and share as much as I can on my social platforms sharing many different quotes and poems where I have gone from writing them and sharing them to be read to now making short videos of me reading what I write.
Sharing my truth in such a creative format has been a blessing as it has given me the confidence to be able share my creativity in many different aspects.